Look at these little princesses!

ROSES IN JUNE

Today, June 9th it would have been Robbie's 25th birthday. Every year is very different. When Robbie died, he was 3 weeks shy of his 6th birthday. For his 5th birthday, I (being the good "homemaker") for all my kids, had ALWAYS made their cakes. That year we were in the middle of settling into our house in Quakertown. So Robbie got a store bought CARVEL ice cream cake for his day. I remember so distinctly the drive home from the store. He sat in the front seat of the car, holding that boxed cake ever so proud. For my kids, that was a thrill. Sure mom baked these cakes that looked like buses, trains, dolls, you name it but "An ice cream cake". He didn't care that it was bought, in fact he was thrilled. I of course felt guilty for having "bought" a cake.

The first year after Robbie died, we didn't know how to celebrate his birthday. How does a family sit at the table on "his" day, when the one who you are celebrating is gone. So we went to the store and got a CARVEL ICE CREAM cake. We continued to do that for many, many years. Some years we didn't and on the years we did, we cried or laughed and ate it wishing him HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

It amazes me that he would be 25 today. Where has life gone? As you see by the title of my blog, I love Roses. Rob was my Rose so to speak. We planted a huge rose bush in our front yard one year in FL in memory of Robbie. That rose bush was as tall as the roof and yielded hundreds of flowers. It was sad to leave it.

Today, I went to the store and got the ice cream cake. It says Happy Birthday. Today, I bought a rose bush and planted it in memory of his 25th. As I looked at all the different colors to choose from, I saw this yellow one. It was bright and cheery, just as I imagine Robbie to be when I see him again at Heavens gate. His happy cupid bows mouth, a smile that made your heart sing. If I would have had enough money, I would have planted a rose bush for every year of his life that we have been blessed with and without. I will start with one. It's just the beginning of many to come.

MAKING MEMORIES OF ROBBIE-HAPPY 25TH BIRTHDAY

THE POLE BEANS ARE GROWING PATTI

Here they are, Patti, we took lots of time to set the strings to make the "pole" beans have somewhere to climb. And no, they aren't poles either. Boy, was this a job for superman. We could have used a dozen more hands to help.

Nick said and when their all done growing, we tear it down and have to redo it next year. That is so WRONG. It should be like Christmas lights and some contraption to wind it all up and put it back out in one piece again. Maybe I will invent something and become rich and famous. Yeah right! Just be buying more twine I am sure.

Oh and as a side note, Kim, Terri & Beth, I got out to the garden, got one picture and guess what? The %$%## rechargeable batteries died. I am gonna hang batteries around my neck from now on.

PRCRASTINATION AND WEEK NUMBER 7

Alright, I am in week number 7 of my second set of 9 week classes. These have been terrible to say the least. AND I can't wait to get them over with. I have a 2000 word Research Paper "draft" due this Sunday. I HAVE 57 words on paper. I think I am gonna cry. What was I thinking by waiting till the last minute. I should have been using my "Critical Thinking" skills and haven't been. I have NOT liked these two courses from the start. No interest in them whatsoever. I am basically winging it.

My only saving grace is that when I open my grade reports, I am still pulling A's in my classes. GOOOO Figure. But the real test (no pun intended) will be that final Research paper grade.

I am writing on Anorexia Nervosa and Self-Image. And NO I am not Anorexic. But Natalie had it when she was a teen, so I decided to research and write on something I was pretty familiar with. It's been interesting but alot of work and I have NOT A CLUE how to write this thing. And we have 2 houses to clean this week as well. God has a sense of humor!

Betty Crocker She Ain't

Ok, I ran to the Dollar General to get seeds. Mind you, this girl CANNOT go into a store without buying at least one other thing other than what she went into it for. So I had a "cookie" craving - imagine that. They had packages of "bake your own' ready make Pillsbury peanut butter cookie dough. It even had a 30 cent coupon off on it which brought the price from $1.00 to $.70 and if you divide that by 12 - well, it was a steal.

So I ran home, preheated the oven and made decaf coffee. I was so cold from riding the motorcycle in the damp air that coffee sounded great. Put the cookies in the oven and went out of back porch. THAT WAS ALL SHE WROTE.

Came in 20 minutes later, the minute I stepped inside, I could smell BURNT cookies. Yes, BURNT. They take 8-10 minutes and not only did I forget to set the timer I didn't even remember I had put them in there. I sat on the porch enjoying my coffee gazing at the "garden". So, Yes Patti, I was desperate enough, I ate them burnt. 3 to be exact. I took a knife, scrapped off the black (ha) it was like a hockey puck - and ate them while watching a dvd. That's bad when you want sweets so much, you will go to extremes. Then I got this wild hair to make a picture from the remaining ones on the tray! Hey, when life throws a curve ball - laugh right!

THIS IS AN AWESOME PICTURE OF ROBBIE

We are coming up on what would have been Robbie's "25th" birthday - June 9th. As I was going through the photos, I found this one that my brother Bernie and sister-in-law Gail found in their pictures and had reprints made for us. I had not ever seen the pictures till they sent them. What a nice thing for them to do. I think he was about 8 months old in this one.

Having photos of Robbie are a blessing. They hold such dear and fond memories for us. Especially the ones that someone else has that we have not ever seen.

For those of you that don't know, Robbie had Megalencephaly. This means "big brain". Every one in 4 of our children would have it. It is a hereditary disease. It caused his head to be large,(note his forhead, he was developmentally delayed, he did not walk or talk till he was 3. He had several years of speech and physical therapy to help him catch up. When he finally did, he was just like the rest of the kids, registered for kindergarten and 3 weeks shy of his 6th birthday, killed by a car. Photos truly hold alot of memories for us!

Granny & Emmy Awhile Back

Used to love to tie things in Emily's hair when she lived with us in her first 18 months of her life. Found this pic in the piles of photos. As you can see, I am trying out the scanner I got for college.

IT WORKS!

This is Natalie when she was little

I am trying out the scanner. Found this of Natalie. She was 8lbs. 3 oz when she was born. I lived with my mom at the time cause Nick was stationed in Rota, Spain and I couldn't travel with. So mom had this scale and it was a Kodak moment.

So Nan, do you look like Hunter?

A BUGS LIFE

And tell me why God made Lovebugs in Florida? I decided that I could no longer read the Harley Davidson license plate on the front of the Camry due to all the bugs that were mashed on it from our trip to see the babies so I got out there with hot water and a bucket and scrubbed. My car has only looked this clean one other time in it's entire life! There were so many bugs on it, it looked like it was tarred and feathered. I had a better pain level day today and I was moving much better so I felt motivated. I wished though that I had taken it to the car wash, I think a sprayer would have worked much faster and better on those critters.

Think about it, when you hit a lovebug, you get two for the price of one automatically!

Breakfast and Dance Recital Day

When we were in FL visiting we did breakfast and later that day went to Rebecca's dance recital. Rayah is "a princess". She cried in the morning because her mom made her wear capri jeans. She wanted to wear a dress - because she is "a princess". She didn't feel pretty in those jeans. I asked her what "Sissy" (that's what she calls me - not Granny) could get her for her birthday - she requested a princess dress! Silly me, to even ask.

NEW MEANING TO FREEZER BURN

Well, the minute we got home from FL, I ran to the garden to see what had sprouted. Low and behold, NOTHING! In fact, ALL the tomato and pepper plants looked like this picture. I had a feeling, it was due to drought or Bambi had made his appearance. In the few days we were gone, it hadn't rained and no one had watered so, as I stood there looking bewildered, remembering all the hard work I had put into carefully planting each one, making sure cow manure was in each hole and they were strategically placed, they had all bit the dirt (no pun intended). I had to go get the camera and I just laughed out loud, thinking - yep, only us - it was bound to happen. We found out later that we had a freeze and that's what killed them.

So back to the hardware store today, got more plants and I will plant them with the stinky stuff once again. I told Nick, if it freezes again, we are going out with little fires and blankets and do like the movie where they saved all the grape vines walking up and down the rows waving their arms. Nick said if these die - we will be buying them from Ingles in the produce isle.

MAY 17, 2007

Today, on the anniversary of Robbie's death, we had the joy of holding our first grandson's. Our first little boys born in our family in 25 years. It was a happy and sad time. Although Robbie's death date is difficult for us, seeing these little ones was so awesome. They have such sweet personalities (for babies) and you can definitely feel the difference in their weights. Tyler is little and Hunter is a chunk. Tyler will no doubt have dirty blonde hair and I think Hunter might end up a "toehead" like his mom was. Both are handsome little guys. Granny and Gramps had to stop at the Harley Davidson store in New Symrna on the way back from the beach to get them a Harley onesie! (The leather jackets were tooooo expensive) They will have to wait on those :)Natalie and Skip wrapped them in these blankets that velcro. They were like papooses. It made holding them even neater.

Being grandparents is so fun, you can love em and give em back and sleep through the night! Awesome for us. Best of both worlds. Seeing Skippy and Natalie's dark cirles under their eyes brought back LOTS of memories of those sleepless nights.

BAMBI BEST NOT TAKE ONE STEP

Ok, tonight we planted the garden. It was crucial to get it in because time was of essence per Nick. Gardening is HARD work! Tomorrow I will not be able to move. We put in tomato plants, pepper plants, zuccini squash, summer squash, wildflowers, lettuce, beets, OKRA - YES OKRA, pole beans (don't ask me what the difference is between a "bean" and a pole bean - all taste the same to me. I love vegetables and I am ready for Dianne Morgan (our friend) to teach me how to can all this stuff.

All I can say is BAMBI had best take his family elsewhere and not come around when it starts to grow. I do believe though that there are about 9 deer that cross through our backyard on a regular basis. The man at the store said Nick should sweat in a shirt and hang it on a stick so they smell it. Glad to hear B.O. is good for something.

MOTHER'S DAY

Two days ago I was really down all day. As I drove home from work, the tears began to flow. I cried off and on the entire evening. Nick just looked at me. As I sat, hemming a dress for someone, I kept thinking about what it was that was making me so upset. I had just come off a week of excitement of having two new grandsons being born. They were healthy and their births were great. I continued to sob.

I realized then that we are fast approaching Mother's Day (May 13th). I have not liked Mother's Day ever since Robbie died. It is a day I would just assume forget. The day he was killed, I had gone to get my hair done - it was my Mother's Day gift from my children that year. It was when we got home from my picking the girls up from school and Robbie and Skippy up from Wanda's house that they all went out to play while I cooked dinner and then Robbie was killed.

Last week was so much excitement, this week I am experiencing a feeling of bitter-sweet joy. These two precious boys that were born last week are the first boys we have had in our family in 19 years. We are going to get to see them next week and we will see them on Robbie's death anniversary date. This holds not only joy but sorrow for us. I am looking forward to swooping them up into my arms and nuzzling my nose into their tiny necks.

The Lord has truly blessed us with these babies. Not only do their names hold special memories but they are proof that life goes on. If Robbie was here, I could imagine him as a proud uncle, loving them just as much as we do.
P.S. Tyler & Hunter will have Harley Davidson jackets from Granny & Gramps

GOTTA COUPLE MORE PICS OF THE BOYS

AND WHO WOULD DO IT

I was driving past the library and saw out of the corner of my eye in the cemetary this headstone. I was saying to myself, I have to go back and take a picture. It's worth a million words on a blog moment. So I got all geared up, parked the car and guess what my friends, yes, Beth, Terri and Kim - the RECHARGEABLE batteries were DEAD (no pun intended).

So I went back home to get new ones and here it is. Now tell me, who would want this for a last name? Any takers out there? I imagined naming my children with it. Natalie Duckworth, Sarah Duckworth, Skippy Duckworth. None fit.

I would have to say you could only use Mr. or Mrs. Duckworth. I like that better. Kinda brings back memories of my maidenname that I was happy to trade in for Langdon. And no it wasn't Duckworth.

WE'RE GROWING GRASS

Honey, we are growing grass. Here it is - the fruits of the labor. I can say finally cause it was a "joint" effort.

I'D RATHER BE HOLDING THOSE BABIES

Today we had to clean a house. As I finished washing the last of one of the "76" windows that was in this house, I kept thinking, I would rather be holding those babies. I called Skippy up at the hospital and told her to pinch that baby and make him cry so his gramma could hear him cry. She unfortunately said he was taken to the nursery to have his billiruben count tested as he is a little jaundiced. BUT she said she could pinch Hunter cause he was there visiting his cousin. I am anxously awaiting pictures of them latching their arms - so Skip says they got of the two of them. I will post as soon as I get them. 76 windows, hopefully we will make enough money on the cleaning to be able to travel to FL to see these new babies. I can't wait!

Here comes Hunter